Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dear Chi-Chi,

April 2010

Dear Chi-Chi,

    Today is your 6th birthday.  I cannot believe that you are already 6 years old.  You were so excited this morning when you woke up and you couldn’t stop smiling. I love how your face completely lights up when you are truly happy! You get this huge grin that stretches from ear to ear….this cute little laugh which you can’t stop….and your eyes are so big and bright, taking everything in! 
     I told you this morning on the way to school, that this was going to be your last birthday we would let you have.  (You know I was just kidding!)  I love watching you grow up, yet I want you to be my little boy forever…..and in my mind and heart you always will be.  You will understand one day when you have your own children.  When you do….enjoy every second with them and love them for they grow up so very fast. 
    The day I found out about you, I couldn’t have been more thrilled….my prayers had been answered!  I couldn’t wait to hold you in my arms.  In my eyes, you were the most perfect baby on Earth, and I couldn’t believe God had entrusted me with such a perfect little being!  You have continued to amaze me with each and every thing you do, no matter big or small.  I love how your mind works.  But most of all, I love looking into your deep, brown eyes and getting lost in all the wonder that makes up YOU!
   Chi-Chi, you are an absolutely amazing kid!  You have such a good heart…..just like your Brupa and Uncle Benny.   I know they are your heroes and you would give anything to spend all of your days with them.   Just like Brupa and Uncle Benny you are always kind…..thinking of others before yourself.  It never fails….you always make a friend wherever you go.  You may go somewhere alone, but you will leave having made a zillion friends. 
     I love how the littlest of things fascinate you.  I love how you act all macho, but at the end of the day  you still need a hug and a kiss… matter how much you try to deny it.  I love how you are always up for anything and you don’t let “grass grow under your feet”.  You are a mover and a shaker.
    Chi-Chi, I want you to grow up and be the best person you can be.  I want you to be a person who stands strong in your morals and values.  Be one who can be trusted and one who stands by their word….it is important to mean what you say and say what you mean. 
    Chi-Chi, remember to put family first.  Family will always be there.  Family will always need you and you will always need them.  Family will be one of the most important things in your life.  You will always make new friends….but you can’t make a new family. 
    You will always be my “baby”.  ALWAYS! I would love to give you a world where you wouldn’t have to worry about any heart ache, hardships,  sickness, or sadness…..for watching you go through anything like that will break my heart.  But know that you can always come to me, and I will forever be there for you, waiting with open arms.

Love you with all of my heart! 


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dear Dew....

April 2010

Dear Dew,

You have just celebrated your 8th birthday!  I can’t believe how fast this time with you has gone.  One day, when you have your own children, you will understand why I always want to slow down time or turn the clock back to when you were small and I could hold you in my arms. 

Dew, God answered my prayers when he gave you to me. I love when your birthday rolls around each year.  I love remembering the night before you were born.  Daddy and I were so excited for your arrival we couldn’t sleep a wink.  For in a few short hours we would have you to complete us.

 I love remembering the first few moments after you were born and your first night on this Earth.  You were absolutely the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and my heart instantly swelled with more love than I had ever felt for anyone.  I stayed awake all night long just admiring this perfect little being that lay sleeping in my arms.   Thanking God that he had given me a child that was healthy, perfect, and wonderful.

You didn’t stay little long.  From the minute you were born, you have been in such a hurry to grow up!  Early to talk. Early to walk.  You went from a baby to a boy overnight.

Never underestimate how much a mother loves her child. I love you with all of my heart and all of my being!  I fell in love with you from the moment I found out about you.

Always be kind and understanding to others. (Yes, this includes your brother and sisters. Especially them…as you are family and will always have one another.)   Make an effort to see things from the other person’s point of view.  I want you to grow up to be a responsible and helpful person.  To be someone others can count on, go to for help, and rely on. 
Always be the best person you can be!

Dew, you are a good person and you are so very smart.  I know you can do these things that I ask of you and know that I am with you every step of the way.

You are always with me.  Always in my heart and I am always in yours! 

I love you to the moon and back......times infinity!



Monday, April 19, 2010

The "C" Word

Cancer is such a dirty little word.

For such a little word, it is so very powerful.

The mere mention of this word can instill instant fear.  It is life changing....for the better or for the worse.....yet can give one a sense of determination they thought never possessed.

There are all types of cancer.  Some are more aggressive than others.

People often live for years without knowing that this parasite lives within them.

There are different stages of cancer....stage one, stage two, stage three and the dreaded stage four.

Cancer knows no discrimination.  It can happen to anyone.......moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends.....and the saddest of all, children.   Reasons are unknown.  I am sure most of us could say that cancer has touched each of our lives whether directly or indirectly. 

We all have known people who have had cancer.  Lived through it.  Shared their stories with us.  Given us hope for the future.

Then there are those.....who have fought the battle with every, single ounce of their being and lost the fight.  Some fight for years.....others for months.  Leaving a gaping hole in the lives of those left behind....but leaving us better people for having known them. For having touched our lives.

Last month I found out I have papillary thyroid carcinoma (cancer of the thyroid). Not a death sentence by any means.  Very easy to "take care of".  I have been told that if you are going to get cancer.....this is the kind you want.  It is not aggressive....very slow growing.  People live for years without knowing they have it.  Thankfully, for me, it was discovered when was and not years down the road.

However......who wants cancer?  Really...who wants it?  Any takers out there? 

My first thoughts were disbelief.  A lot of worrying went on....and still does from time to time, but think I can safely say I have moved on to acceptance. There is no choice but to move on, deal with it head on, and make the best out of the situation. 

I would not have been as strong as I am without the the love, support, and reassurance of my husband, my parents, and my mother and father-in-law.  They have been there for me throughout this entire ordeal.  They are all phenomenal individuals and I love them all, more than words can say!

The same goes for my co-workers.  They are amazing and have been willing to help in any way they can, and have been so very understanding. Over the past ten years they have worked around several "maternity leaves" and many, many last minute (might even say last second) absences. Thanks guys.....

My situation could be much, much worse.   I am so thankful that it is not!   And I would much rather  it be me than one of my children....I would completely fall to pieces if that were the case.

The other day, while driving to pick up my kids, I saw a billboard.  It said, "I have cancer.  Cancer doesn't have me."

Words to live by.